"This is a whole mess."

Alex stares at his plate, the assortment of fruit and cereal, and feels like he's five again. He doesn't want to eat his breakfast, his mother is chattering away through the magic mirror, and he feels like shit. Only, back then he felt like shit because dad was ignoring him again, and now he has a daughter who looks just like his sister. She's almost four now. He looks at her and smiles softly.

"What's a mess, daddy?" She's chewing on her pineapple, juice dripping down her chin and falling onto the fancy little apron Wade had given her.

He tilts his head, reaching out and wiping the juice away.

"Be more careful, please," he asks, still unable to contain his softness for her little chin dimple. She's so beautiful it makes him surprised sometimes. Because yeah, he is gorgeous with all the Krum genes, and Nin is a fucking model, but still - Cheonsa has her own inner beauty that illuminates her features from the inside. She's going to be a great leader one day, he thinks. The one everybody wants to follow not blindly but out of love and respect. Merlin, he loves her so much.

"Sure, sure," she complies and pulls her chair closer. "Are you upset over Norman again?"

"No-o-o." He pouts, crossing his arms over his chest.

Johnny looks at him like she does when he's trying to feed her obvious child-lies as if she were a two-year-old wanting to eat ice-cream at ten in the evening. He calls it the "stop bullshitting me" look. Alex sighs and rolls his eyes.

Because the truth is - he is, he's upset, he's stressing over the issue of Norman avoiding him and being too happy without drugs, and while it isn't a bad thing in and on itself, it's strange. He is willing to give his everything for Norman to be happy, and it's nice to see him so calm and content, but there's still something unerringly upsetting. Because he has no fucking clue as to what's causing it.

He knows some vague details, of course, about Brady dragging Norman into that peculiar group of his. The one preaching about the new magic and broadening the mind or some shit like that, but it's not nearly enough to make some conclusions. For all he knows, it's all a fucking cult, and his not-boyfriend and almost-best-friend are dancing around in a circle smoking fairy dust wrapped in unicorn hair and praising the spaghetti god. And he would be okay with it, too, to each their own and all that, but he hates not understanding something.

And he worries. He loves Norman, that much he established a few years back, and he even put those feeling to the test. He passed, of course, nailed his own cursed assignment, proved to himself that Norman is always his Norman - sober or stoned, happy or miserable, loving or cold. But now he can't reach him, can't ask him what's wrong, can't even touch him. Because Norman pulls away all the time, and it makes a nagging question scream in the back of his mind.

What if the reason Norman is so content is him limiting the interactions with Alex?

What if, the less there is of Alex in his life, the happier Norman becomes?

What if the reason for their misery was Alex all along?

He needs to know. He needs to know if he's the reason Norman used to be sad all the time because he will change it. He knows he's cheating by being all over the place and telling Norman about his feelings all the time, as if moсking them both for his past silence, and he knows he's being selfish by stealing corner-of-the-mouth kisses here and there; but he thought Norman understood, he thought he was playing along, and the moment he finally admitted that he's still in love with Krum was just around the corner.

The moment never came, Norman was miserable, and now he's in a fucking cult.

"When's Woof-woof coming?" Johnny's voice rips him out of his thoughts, and he blinks, automatically checking if she's done with her breakfast. He's surprised to find she already put away her plate.

He doesn't get to answer - the door opens, and the big great Woof-Woof himself comes in, making Johnny squeal and run into his arms. Alex rolls his eyes with a fond smile and takes a sip of his coffee.

"Even though you have a key, you could've knocked, you know," he calls out as Wade disappears in the living room, giggling Johnny on his shoulder.

"I don't need a key to your heart, baby!"

Alex snorts and stands up, cleaning away the remnants of their breakfast. Takes a deep breath and braces himself. He promised himself he'd do this, and even asked Wade to come earlier, and now he can't back away.

He pops his head into the living room and smiles at the little part of his family on the floor.

"Don't wait up."

The bottle of magic vodka he stashed away after the last visit from Zhanna in hand, he checks his hair in the mirror (because looking flawless is ingrained in his genes) and takes a deep breath. Concentrates on Brady's house - and away he goes.

He apparates right by the front door, August heat hitting his back. Thank Merling for air-conditioning spells.

"Brady, you gorgeous fucker!" He knocks seven times, just to be annoying and waits patiently, using the cool bottle to press to his forehead.

They've always been good friends, and while Brady isn't all over the place all the time like Wade is, Alex still feels like cuddling the fucker and giving him all the love he can. No homo. Gilroy is just... A friend. An idiot, granted, but an exceptionally smart and kind one, and the one that Alex now trusts to gift him some peace of mind. He feels soft all of a sudden, eager to see Brady just for the sake of it, and he blames the heat for it.

Merlin, it's fucking hot.

Отредактировано Aleksandr Krum (2018-10-24 11:37:35)